Crashed car. Dad did it. Oops.

I’m not really what you’d call a car person. I drive a nice car but ask me a question about what’s under the hood and I’d be in trouble.

Ummm … an engine?

Fire me questions about the stereo system (six stacker CD, I-pod connectivity, great sound system), or the cup holders (excellent, will hold jumbo coffee cup and 1litre water bottle) and I’m in my element.

So when Mr Bean returned hom a couple of weekends ago with a confession – he’ crashed my car – I was both upset and happy.

Upset that he’d crashed it, happy that he and the boys were safe … and that it was HIM who was behind the wheel for the first crash.

If it was me who crashed the car I would have been in for at least a month of woman-driver jokes, made at my expense.

As it is I must endure the judgemental looks of passers-by as they look at the damaged side, then at me. I can read their minds.

“Would you look at that, silly woman, crashed her nice car. What an idiot.”

I’m really tempted to stick a sign on the damaged side that says, ‘MY HUSBAND DID IT.’

Just how it happened remains unclear. Mr Bean was taking the boys to a Saturday soccer game. He pulled into the carpark (a grassy field with longish grass) and ran up against a hidden post.

Mr Bean says it could have happened to anyone.

I enquired further with my two detectives in the back seat.

‘Was daddy on the phone when he crashed the car?’ I asked.

‘Yes he was,’ offered James, 4.

Alex added: ‘And he swore really badly … he said the Eff word mum.’

Did he indeed? Thank you darlings, you’ve done good work.

It doesn’t surprise me that Mr Bean crashed my car. He and the local panel beater are on first-name terms. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised to hear he’s their best customer. The man tries to multi-task and occassionally he fails. Often there’s a phone or a two-way involved.

He is also visually-challenged. No he’s not blind or anything but he did break his neck some years ago (car crash! I rest my case) and now has limited movement in his neck. He and the rear vision mirrors are good friends.

I’m waiting for the part to arrive and hope to soon be driving around in a good-as-new car. It was however a costly soccer game.